Envy and Comparison: dealing with it...
Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah) - Rapper
Grew up in New Jersey and moved to IHOP in 2007. Vision is to hear God's people proclaim "Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord."
I think dealing with envy and comparison is a normal part of everyday life. It’s not just a team dynamic. It happens all throughout life, starting in pre-school, growing up, and for sure in the work place. I remember times past when I struggled with comparison. It could have been something as simple as seeing a musician here at IHOP with a lot of talent. Everybody talks about it, and everybody loves them for it. It can be challenging. As I have grown through the years, it has become less of an issue for me. I think it’s awesome when God anoints someone and they use that gift to glorify God and not themselves.
Before joining Justin’s worship team I had always wanted an opportunity to join a team at IHOP. As a rapper there weren't any options for me to do that. So I would see others on teams and become disappointed or envious. It’s not so much the talent I was drawn to, but more their position. I wanted to be part of the worship team too. I don’t think it was a problem, as much as a season of testing for me. I knew God had this for me, but was I willing to wait.
I can see how somebody might be envious if God hasn’t released them yet. Or if perhaps they don’t have a musical ability, especially at IHOP where musicians are everywhere. I think it would be much harder to deal with envy and comparison if I wasn't a musician. It’s funny because my natural tendency is not to compare myself to others when it comes to my music. I prefer not listening to other rap artists much, because I feel it can color my sound adversely. I like to be original and get my inspiration from the Spirit. I have always had an original sound, and I think a lot has to do with not listening and comparing myself to others. Don’t get me wrong there is a lot to gain by hearing other music... but it’s just not my first reach when I try to get inspired. I leave that part up to God. He wrote all the music before any of us did anyway!
I hold my raps and beats lightly because I don't feel I have actual ownership over them. I know God inspired them and I try to give the credit to Him. Not in false humility, but in real devotion. He is the light of my music, and I am just the guy who gets to share His words. I hope to inspire others by sharing Yeshua’s truth in fully abandoned devotion to Him. If people envy this devotion, well that’s not such a bad thing.
© 2012 Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah)