Envy and Comparison: dealing with it...

I think dealing with envy and comparison is a normal part of everyday life.  It’s not just a team dynamic.  It happens all throughout life, starting in pre-school, growing up, and for sure in the work place.  I remember times past when I struggled with comparison.  It could have been something as simple as seeing a musician here at IHOP with a lot of talent.  Everybody talks about it, and everybody loves them for it.  It can be challenging.  As I have grown through the years, it has become less of an issue for me.  I think it’s awesome when God anoints someone and they use that gift to glorify God and not themselves. 

Before joining Justin’s worship team I had always wanted an opportunity to join a team at IHOP.  As a rapper there weren't any options for me to do that.  So I would see others on teams and become disappointed or envious.  It’s not so much the talent I was drawn to, but more their position.  I wanted to be part of the worship team too.  I don’t think it was a problem, as much as a season of testing for me.  I knew God had this for me, but was I willing to wait. 

I can see how somebody might be envious if God hasn’t released them yet.  Or if perhaps they don’t have a musical ability, especially at IHOP where musicians are everywhere.  I think it would be much harder to deal with envy and comparison if I wasn't a musician.  It’s funny because my natural tendency is not to compare myself to others when it comes to my music.  I prefer not listening to other rap artists much, because I feel it can color my sound adversely.  I like to be original and get my inspiration from the Spirit.  I have always had an original sound, and I think a lot has to do with not listening and comparing myself to others.  Don’t get me wrong there is a lot to gain by hearing other music... but it’s just not my first reach when I try to get inspired.  I leave that part up to God.  He wrote all the music before any of us did anyway! 

I hold my raps and beats lightly because I don't feel I have actual ownership over them.  I know God inspired them and I try to give the credit to Him.  Not in false humility, but in real devotion.  He is the light of my music, and I am just the guy who gets to share His words.  I hope to inspire others by sharing Yeshua’s truth in fully abandoned devotion to Him.  If people envy this devotion, well that’s not such a bad thing. 

© 2012 Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah)